Lazy FM

Brilliant. I love it when I find something thru working on lazylaces that I end using all the time. Filezilla, Dropbox and Fraps all spring to mind. Latest on the list is Last FM - a nice little plugin to most media players that compiles an on-line chart of what music you're listening to. No more guess work for me when I do "I have mostly been listening to..." on lazylaces musical Fridays. And what's more you can check out what I'm listening to too. The down side is that you can see that I have one Britney Spears track (which I obviously downloaded accidently, and which then plays unintentionally when I have 'random play' set. Honest.). Anyway thanks to Yann for putting me on to this.

Entry 1414, Monday, September 26th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(14)

Gem Sweater

In need of some light relief? I know I most definately (that was for you Hazel) am, close to 12 hours at work today, followed by some hard arg-ing have left me exhausted. Fortunately Gem Sweater makes me laugh more every time I watch it - mainly because I remember more and more women I have known/met who have worn the garment in question. Sing-a-long now....*Gemmmmmmmm Sweateeeeeeer*. [subbed by leah]

Entry 1408, Tuesday, September 20th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(24)

Failure

Hot out of my in-basket is this from eb:

go to www.google.com
type in "failure" without the quotes
press the I'm feeling lucky button (instead of the google search one)
Laugh
REPOST, SEND IT, FWD, SHARE IT
DO IT!!!!

I hadn't seen this before, obviously it's topical now, but apparently it's a classic googlebomb. It also works with "miserable failure" (drop the quotes again).

Unrelated aside: I'm not normally around at this time (7.30am my time), the joys of being off work, so a quick update on what I'm up to right now:

Listening to Chris Moyles breakfast show (link direct to the radio feed - if you hurry the show will still be on) on BBC Radio 1.
Programming lazylaces.com/mobile (work in progress) to bring lazylaces to a phone near you soon.
Drinking Kenco Costa Rican coffee. Hmmmmmmm.... coffee.

That's it, if you're around, what are you up to?

Entry 1402, Thursday, September 15th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(17)

Manev : Stuck In The Desert

In this point'n'click your name is Manev and you are stuck in a vast sea of custard and you must escape by finding all of the chocolate sprinkles. Oh hang on. That's "Manev : Stuck In The Dessert". Let me resort to the site description that's bound to be more useful:

Online "point and click" adventure where Manev comes from the party where he was real drunk and his car stops in the middle of the desert. Now it's up to you to fix the car and drive back home. Good luck!!!

[subbed by tia, eb, linda & lynn]

Entry 1401, Thursday, September 15th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(81)

Site Updates

OK, so contrary to my normal laziness I've been a busy little bee and made a few improvements to the cozy little world that is lazylaces, some of which you may have seen, and some of which you probably won't have. Here they are in full:

You can now use <spoiler> and <hint> tags in comments for all your game walkthroughs and the like. As tafkam points out though this will probably also lead to a new feature of comment threads devoted to arguing about "you should have used spoiler tags", etc. Enjoy.
As well as the long standing site rss newsfeed, there are now new rss comment feeds for the site gossip (all comments), and one for each comment thread (if you really want the latest hints on cwot, or whatever, delivered to your desktop - there's one for each of all the 1400+ articles!). If you don' t know what rss is and are interested in how to 'get it', try microsoft's simple guide, or this one from the bbc. My personal advice is to use the 'web clips' section of Google Desktop (a joy to use), or the in-built rss subscription features in FireFox or Opera (Internet Explorer 7 is also, heavily, rumoured to have rss support).
The stylesheet selection for the PSP web browser (yes I got the v2.00 upgrade) has now been corrected. I'll be doing a lot more work on this in the future to get a better "screen fit" on the PSP if a flash player is released for the PSP (drop me a line if you know anything about this). For now it's fairly academic since you can't play half, well most all of, if I'm honest, the things I link to using a PSP. Incidently if you have your own web site and want to do something special for the PSP browser I got details of the user agent here.
The stylesheet selection for Opera 8x has now been corrected so you don't have to be a wimp and impersonate MSIE or Mozilla (as an Opera user I'm ashamed how long it took me to do this - my solution up until now was to stick with version 7x on my main computer).

In terms of future developments my only firm plan is to provide a version of hot gossip for mobile devices so I can browse the latest site comments from my mobile phone when I'm away from a computer. If you have any suggestions though I'd be interested to hear them in the comments.

Entry 1400, Wednesday, September 14th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(44)

Top Tips

A collection of Viz top tips to tickle your funny bone (it's quite a long list so remember to scroll down the page to view the other posts!). Some of them are a bit adult so skip this post if you're easily offended, an innocent child, or at work. Some of them are also a bit British, so if you're from further afield that this rainy island then you might not get them all. Anyway, top tips:

DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

CINEMA goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a pi$$ before the film starts.

RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains

SOLDIERS Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.

MURDERERS Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.

BURGLARS. When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90?, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.

BLIND PEOPLE Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.

ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness.

DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

DEPRESSED people Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help', simply shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.

MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

JEREMY Beadle When selling DVDs on your TV advert, hold the disks in your bigger hand so that they do not appear to be the size of laser disks.

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

ALCOHOLICS don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

McDONALD'S Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

EMPLOYEES - Have all your shits at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

LADIES - An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

SCROOGES - Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender, with the simple inscription "Same to you".

GENTLEMAN - Gauge the outside temperature using a 'plumometer'. Open your flies and dangling your plums in front of an open letterbox. If they shrink it is cold outside, if they go baggy it is warm, and if they remain the same size it is the same temperature outside as it is in the house.

PLUMBERS - Farts stored in a washing up liquid bottle can be ignited and used as an underwater welding torch for those tricky but essential emergency plug chain repairs.

MICRA DRIVERS - Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like sodding dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one.

ADVENTUROUS LOVERS - Sprinkle talcum powder on each other's rings, then lie on the floor and fart up in the air to send each other sexy 'bum-smoke signals' across the bedroom.

ANGLERS - Attach a helium balloon to your line and bait the hook with an acorn. Then sit under a tree and 'fish' for squirrels. An upturned laundry basket would make an ideal keep net, but don't forget to throw the squirrels back into the tree at the end of the day

SINGLE men. Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV whilst trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.

ENJOY indoor snorkling by filling a bath with water, then removing the plug quickly putting your mouth over it and breathing through the overflow.

TIGHT- arsed blokes. At this time of year, only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won't have to shell out for a present until then, by which time they will probably have packed you in.

CONSTIPATED driving instructors. Alleviate your discomfort by disconnecting the dual controls on the car when instructing a new pupil. If a stronger laxative effect is required, do the same thing but with a female learner.

[subbed by hazel]

Entry 1397, Wednesday, September 14th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(22)

Take The Train

A couple of cool little flash videos encouraging you to Take The Train. Only in France though. If you live any where else you'll just have to get stuck in traffic I'm afraid.

Entry 1396, Wednesday, September 14th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(17)

1337 Wager

If you've followed any of the 1337 discussion in the site comments you'll appreciate this video of a 1337 gameshow contestant.

Entry 1395, Wednesday, September 14th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(35)

Absence Of Fear

I'm not sure why a collection of pictures of underground stations and trains is named 'Absence Of Fear', and I'm not going to go to the trouble of translating the German text to try and work it out, but it doesn't stop the pictures been very cool. There are pictures from all around (mainly under) the world, but the one I have selected above is Southwark tube station, one of two stations near where I work.

Entry 1394, Wednesday, September 14th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(9)

Liberty City Stories

Dig out your PSP (or buy one if you haven't already - slow coach), Liberty City Stories is almost here...*cool*.

Entry 1392, Tuesday, September 13th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(18)

Platform Zero

Posters in the underpass come to life in platform zero - just about the coolest short film I've found.

Entry 1388, Monday, September 12th 2005, Filed In Stuff
Comments(9)

Ask The Dead

Got a pressing question that needs answering? If you have time to wait for them to spell out the answer on their ouija board maybe you should ask the dead...